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Riding A Roller Coaster

This blog is about downsizing, but it is also about learning about myself and the things that affect my happiness. As I look back over my life, I have experienced many good and bad times. It has been quite a roller coaster. This week has been a roller coaster too, and I’m really glad that it is Friday afternoon. I’m ready for this week to be over. Work hasn’t gone as well as I want this week, which is stressful. Today is the anniversary of our second daughter’s death. She has been gone six years today. It would be very easy to be all ‘woe is me’ right now, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything except for making me and those around me miserable. In the past, I have gone through some tough times and I allowed myself to be consumed by the situation. I’ve truly been in some dark places in my life and never want to do that again. I’m smart enough now to recognize when the dark times are approaching and do everything I can to reverse it. This is one of the main reasons I am downsizing. I can feel the overwhelming feelings becoming too much to handle. Just like this week, there are always going to be moments of adversity. Thank goodness they don’t happen all of the time! I have learned to acknowledge the bad times, learn from them, and move on. I want to spend my time thinking about the good things that have happened this week. One of the great things is that at work, we were able to celebrate one of our team members successfully beating cancer! Talk about a victory!!! He taught me a lot about how to face hard situations as he faced his fight with grace and courage. I never heard him complain. There are some fantastic people in my life! Speaking of fantastic, another great thing happened when one of my best friends surprised me with a gift honoring our daughter in heaven. I’m amazed and humbled that other people remember her Heaven Day. This weekend we get to celebrate with family and friends at two weddings and a christening (sounds like a movie title! Ha!). All around me life is good, and I am going to make a conscious effort to focus on that. I get to decide if I enjoy riding roller coasters, and the truth is – I do!

My downsizing efforts are moving forward! I am a planner. I like to look at the big picture and then make a strategic plan for how to get there. In order to do this, I have to clearly know what I want the end result to be. If I know that, I can take the necessary steps to get there. I cannot fly by the seat of my pants and hope for the best. I’d go nuts!! Sooo…. I have to know where I will be moving to before I can decide to sell our house and begin to sell furniture. My husband and I have been doing quite a bit of looking and we think we have settled on something. It’s not final, so I’m scared to put it out there! I’ll tell you all next week hopefully! This will be a huge step. It frightens me and excites me all at the same time! There are moments when I am devastated and get teary to be leaving my back yard, but I know happiness can be achieved anywhere – it’s totally up to me to will it to happen.

I’m anxious to get my weekend started, so I’ll wrap it up for today. Have a great Friday night! I know I will! I love roller coasters!

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