Wishes for Elise's 15th Birthday
- Gina Simpson
- Apr 10
- 4 min read
Wishes on Elise's 15th Bday
Thursday, April 10, 2025
7:48 AM
About this time every year, I find myself exhausted and running on fumes. The last few weeks of every spring semester are always A LOT. There are numerous events to attend as my college students are honored and getting ready to graduate. I have an exorbitant amount of grading to do as the students turn in their final projects and I finalize their grades. My own children have many events during spring as well. It is all fantastic stuff, but it requires a great deal of energy. I'm always rejoicing when summer break starts.
This past week I walked onto campus one morning and was already so tired, that I was begging the universe to give me a break and to not let me run into anyone on my way to my office that would want to talk. I did not have the energy to be friendly and make small talk. I almost made it. I was walking up the stairs to the entrance of my office building when I looked to my left and saw one of my students. I said the obligatory, "Good morning. How are you?" as I continued up the stairs still thinking I had made it. But he shook his head no with a stressed look on his face. I asked if he was ok and he replied, "No. Not really." I stopped cold in my tracks.
This student is one of the nicest, congenial, and engaged students I have this semester. He is a pleasure to see in every class. When he replied no, I knew something bad was up. As he walked closer to me, I asked him if there was anything I could do to help him to which he replied, "No. There really isn't." I was shook and left wondering what to do so I stood there because he stood there. We stood silently for what felt like forever but was probably 10 seconds. I did not want to pry if he did not want to share. I told him that if he decided he needed me, I am here and happy to help any way I could. He immediately broke out into tears and told me, "My friend died."
He and I sat down together on the steps of my office building and I let him tell me about his friend, Malachi Crain. They were very close and part of the Bama Catholic group on campus. Malachi had been killed in a tragic camping accident. A tree had fallen on his campsite while he slept in his hammock. My student was grieving and dealing with the loss of one his closest friends. I didn't know Malachi, but by all accounts, he was a fantastic kid with a promising future. He should be graduating from college in a couple weeks and getting ready to attend graduate school. We cried together and chatted for a few minutes until he went on to try to make it through his day. I went into my office and cried more.
The day that I was so tired that all I wanted was to make it to my office without having to talk to anyone is the day the world told me, "You need to get over yourself and remember that so many more are dealing with issues much bigger than exhaustion."
Today as I write this, a mom is preparing for a funeral and to say good bye to her son. I will never forget how that feels. Preparing to say goodbye to your child for the final time is surreal. So much of what you do during this time of grief is robotic, going through the motions, and taking care of the details. You have to tell the rest of the family what has happened, write an obituary, pick a burial mode, plan a funeral, order flowers, and be available for all that want to come spend time with you. It is such a busy time that you can get lost in the activities and not truly accept that your child is gone. But your child IS gone. To Malachi's mom, I am sending you so much love and strength right now. I am so sorry.
I don't believe in coincidences. I was supposed to run into my student that day. There is so much to learn from every interaction in our life if we are mindful. Today as Malachi's mom plans to say goodbye, I am planning to celebrate a heavenly birthday for the child I had to tell goodbye.
Today would have been Elise's 15th birthday. As I sit here and think about her, I am also thinking of Malachi's mom. I wish no mom ever had to say good bye to their child. I wish every mom was able to celebrate every one of their child's birthdays WITH them. I wish people didn't die young and their friends didn't have to grieve. I wish, I wish, I wish… which gives me an idea.
Today, in honor of Elise's 15th birthday, I am going to send up some special birthday wishes.
I wish…
That I and no one else ever takes life for granted again. We never know when the end will come for any of us.
We let those we love know we love them, all of the time, and we never get tired of telling them.
We will be there for others when they need us, no matter how tired we are.
We laugh more, love more.
We will stop getting caught up in silly drama and details that don't matter.
We prioritize family and friends over work and spend quality time together.
LET'S LIVE AND LOVE!
Happy Heavenly 15th Birthday, Elise. Thank you for the constant gifts that you give me and this world in terms of love and understanding. It's not what I pictured our relationship would be, but I am still so grateful. I miss and love you, sweet girl. #PurplePower
In honor of Elise's birthday, we would love for you to make a contribution to the Bama Catholic group in honor of Malachi Crain. Details are in his obituary.
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